Carl phoned me again. Carl does this all the time. I hope somebody takes Carl's phone away. He says "Hail." He says that then silence. With Carl a pattern has developed.

We-Carl, I, others-live in a close-knit row of houses. We all know each other and Carl thinks this communion, this fate nearness gives him permission to take control of telephone lines as if he's the least threatening Stalin in history.

So why did Carl call today? Passionately he tells me to come over; he wanted to show me something. Subterfuge bounces off Carl like a trampoline. I walked to his home

His home is as obnoxious as Carl. Example: his lawn usually has season-appropriate decorations. Winter is just ending and so what does he have propped up? A huge, inflatable rabbit. Gaudily it greets me as I head towards his front door. Carl pops out the door before I am able to knock. He has a cheesy smirk. He pulls me by the crux of my elbow back out to the yard. He looks up. I follow his lead. I wonder why. The light is bright but my immediate future is not.

"Do you see that?" No. "I put up a gutter cover." Wonderful. I respond, barely hiding my sarcasm. "No, it's more than fantastic. It's changed my life". That seamless cover prevents garbage from clogging everything, which limits how often I must clean it." And Carl, for once, was actually onto something.

Gutter repair in Fairfax, Va